For the second night, I lay by myself in my bedroom starring at the celling. The lights were out and the TV was on as usual. I could not seem to concentrate on getting to sleep with my thoughts streaming in my head like rivers of water, which would not stop flowing. I don't know if I was analyzing things or over analyzing things.I was thinking about my relationship. Sleep seemed to be creeping more and more far from me, as my brain continued to reel thought like a movie projector. The spot he would usually lay in was empty.
Tonight that spot was silence, and I thought that I would be OK about that because after all, there would be no late night arguments, no frustrations, and I could finally have the house as I wanted...quiet. Most of all the older kids were gone, and the remaining were sleep. For some reason, however I could not get over the spot in the bed void of his absence on the other side of the mattress. His spot closest to the wall, so that I would not have to climb over him for repeated night trips to the restroom. He always could sleep better than me, I suppose. The bed also seemed bigger for some odd reason, I had so much room, it's as if it swallowed me up, because of how short I was, not even reaching a full 5 feet.
Tonight that empty spot had nothing to say. There was no conversations about his intense passion for his occupation, which seemed to consume a great portion of his life, leaving me baffled and in search for understanding to why? I mean after all, I had passions for my work , but it never seemed to consume me as much as him. I guess I cannot judge him for it, it is what it is.
Usually by this time, I would hear about how he was undeniably sensational at his line of work, and how he can do his job better than most, as a matter of fact, he felt he was the best at what he did...he would say. It's not that I didn't mind hearing him, but it all seemed to get to be repetitive, and predictable. To me, it seemed he was just getting bored and needed to escalate to a high level, seeming competition was far from him now and he was at the peak of his work. There was no other way to go, but upward.
Just two days ago, his talk was put into even more action, he left. He left to do the work that needed to be done, and of course they called him to do so because, he was good at what he do. Unfortunately with his intense obsession for his work, left me in my bedroom by myself counting sheep trying to make it to sleep one more night without him.
The empty spot he would occupy could not hear me complain. It could not hear me talk about stuff that he did not care about. I am sure I bore him with my wining and complaining about my life about things that probably irritated him about me, and most of all my fears and insecurities. After all I blame my sensitivity on my zodiac sign, it was something that I could not help. For a strong minded person like himself, it must of felt like hell listening to crying all the time. I wonder if he ever wished he'd go def so that he wouldn't have to listen to me.
It's funny ,because I thought I had finally got what I wanted, a break and some silence. I weighed in my head, the good and bad points about my relationship with him, balancing my thoughts on a mental scale. I realized that for some odd reason even though arguments seemed to be repetitively stupid, that the good out weighed the bad.
Tonight it was way too quiet. I missed his cocky arrogance and his work ethic of always being on the go working.I figured I am completely accepting of his good traits along with some of the bad ones. After all, he was just being who he was, and I did meet him that way.
To door swings open, interrupting my thoughts and he walks through the door, looking worn out from his travels and occupational activities. I don't know what had come over me, but for some reason I was eager to hear his talking about his trip and his adventures he had. I listened to him ramble on about what he liked, what he didn't like, and how much of a success it was for him. I guess those couple of days of silence put everything into prospective for me.
He reached over and kissed me gently, but passionately luring me to him saying"You know what it is?" With a smile on my face, I did.
He took off his clothes and entered me with such intensity and love, left me moaning for more and more of him as he thrust in and out of me. He fulfilled all the yearnings I had for him by his touch and his making love to me. It left me breathless and made all the senses of my body tingle with pleasurable delight. We went from making love slow and easy, to a hard sweaty fuck. It was in that moment when I told him how much I missed him and he told me he loved me, I knew that I never wanted to be without him.
